The Phoenix (thepheenixeyri) wrote,
The Phoenix

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packing...yet again

Wow all phoenix fans,

It is nearly time for me to say goodbye to Cape Coral and head for hte edge of Fort Myers again. I am packing clothes, music and other things to head back to FGCU day after tomorrow. I can't believe how fast these two weeks have gone. It seems like only yesterday that I was home from Tallahasee and writing about my financial mishaps...and is off to classes on mMonday and my first long day...thing is, I never did get a refresher for the university, so I just hope that my memory serves. I'm about to call on Monday and see if I can't get her out for at least an hour or two for a refresher and to find out where my new classes are.
At any rate, I'm nearly done and my soitcase is near to being full. I just hope she doesn't go through it. I have it all nice and piled the way I want it and if she starts moving things, I may have the tendency to get a bit miffed.
Oh well, I suppose that's the price for having a nosey parent. LOL

In other news, I called my counsellor Cindy today and wt talked about Tallahassee. She was saying that she heard that I was falling back into my old patterns while I was there and I said that I did a little and she said that was an understatement according to Linda...Linda Jones is the co-chairperson incharge of th program alont with Catherine O'Farrell. Cindy made it sound like that's all I did and that in any new situation that I wasn't supposed to fall back on my old patterns although it was easier. Shwe didn't even give me credit for the things I had done right...I'm beginning to wonder what Linda told her. Sure I thought I had lost the pac mate and Linda wouldn't let anyone help me find it, then she was having me find the elevator with directions given me only once, but as far as I know that was the only two times I fell back on old habbits. If she means the numerous asking for help sessions, I wasn't the only one who did that, Lia and I did that all the time.
Even Linda praised my efforts of getting out there on my own and trying to get places using the buss and my own wits, senses and courage. But Cindy is acting like Linda is the know-it-all and the all-seeing person when it comes to skill assessment, which is not true. Linda barely even saw me during those six weeks outside of meetings and th odd bump into session. She saw me at her party and had a hand in teaching me how to slice things, but other than that...a lot of the stuff was given her through Catherine, Linda Fugate my RT and Richard, my O&M instructor. I mean, sure Linda saw me enough to know me pretty goood and all, but I just kind of feel she gave me more credit than Cindy did. We had lunch together one time and I told her about a certain bus situation, and even she was saying that I had come a long way since the start of the program. But accorging to Cindy I made no progress at alll, or at least that's houw she made it seem to me.
Mom said that it wouldn't be wrong of me to get in touch with Linda and find out what she talked to Cindy about saying that I felt she wasn't giving me any credit at all for the stuff I had done...shit, I should be praised for just going...that was my first tim really away from home in about eight or nine yeaars, I did things there that I'd never had to do before...fuck I was terrified at first...I nearly had a panic attack in the restaurant one time because of crowd stuff...streets freak me out...yet I made it through in one slighgly bruised piece, but one pice3 nonetheless. I've even gotten comments here in theis journal about my progress...I just wish people would get it...I'm not perfect, I've been sheltered most of my life, and...I guess I've grown up with people doing for me, so I kind of take it for granted, which is sad, but...well there we go. Last semester was a learning experience in itself what with having to live and shit for myself. I'm sitting here wondering if Cindy will ever call to not criticize me...if I won't call only to hear her say...this is what you need to change. I'm olmost to tye point of dreading talking with the woman. Well, I've got something to do, so I guess i'd better stop this for now and write more later.

The Phoenix
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