Man what a day. I had an awesome class today all we did was listen to music. We listened to Sainc-Sains "Carnival of Animas" and it brought back so many neat memories ofor me. I remember in Kindergarden being in music lass pretending to be donkeys kicking to the donkey music. I remember singing cuckoo along with clarenette, I remebbbbbemember, when I waw it live thinking that the bianos sounded just like lions and that they were big, soo very big. I remember oping they wouldn't eat me.
The things I didn't know, though was thatit was written for two pianos and that some of the instruments were what they were. Like I didn['t know the name of some of the instruments. I do remember some of the themes he used though, partly because I was exposed ti them at festivals and partly because I saw it as a child. I especially remembler the swan piece from my childhood days. I had to sing along with it duringclass and I just couldn't help myself. I also remembered the aquarium visit because chopan is one of my favorite pianists and that particular part of the piece was done in his style of playing. I love, love, hove, love piano music!! I sort ofeel bad because I am so lut of practice in that area and somehow when I am in that house I sort of fgeel oppressed and compeletley unmotivadted. It's almost like something there desn't want meto do the things I truly love doing. I don't know whether I am making sense here, but that's exactly how I feel. Idon't know if it's all my mother or what. I don't even know if I'm facilitating some of it, but when I leave, I feel so much freer. Even with all this culture shock. I'm slowly getting used to it all. It's still not the easiest thing to do, but it's getting easier by the day. I don't know abnout some of you, but despite the down feelings, I truly thing this was the best thing for me to do. I'm learning a lot about myself, some if it not what I wanted, but I'm beginningto think that my confidence isn't where I would like it to to be. Ispecially when I get upset when I couldn't find my way to somewhere. I nearly started crying. I felt almost like I had let the two girls down, like I had betrayed the trust they had put in me to get them to where we were supposed to be going. I felt liketurning around and going backto my dorm because I couldn't do anything right. It didn't help that that was the firt time I had tried to do it outside of my instruction and I was trying to impress them with my knowledge of things.
Anyway, I did an assessment with my rehab instructor and that went well because we kind of went of on tangents and I told her about the memories that the Sainc-Sans piece brought up for me. I also gave her some suggestions on things, some of which I won't mention here because of the nature of them.
I called my new people today, and from now on they will be known as fellow Valdemarans as we three have that series in common. They were at Wal-mart and said they would call me back later, so now the waiting begins. I really do like them, though. I have a feeling that the three of us are going to get along very nicely. I know that I'mve been saying that a lot lately, but it's just the way things have been going of late. I hope I can make more froends and maybe meet them im person as it's ben a very longtime since I've met and been able to talk to some others who lhave the same beliefs as I do. I can think of three others.. no fours, andthree of them read on a regular basis. I'm grateful for all readers and I'm goad I have friends whou give me support when it's needed. Thank you much.
I don't know whether I'll write again toingth, it depends on whether I go out or not. If I do, I'll be writing again from a rather buzzed perspective.Untill then, all you phoenix fans. Farewell and take care.