The Phoenix (thepheenixeyri) wrote,
The Phoenix

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OK phoenix fans,

What a day it's been.what a day!!! I never thought I'd be brought to such emotional states as was the case today
The Titanic was a very emotional experience for me in more than one way. First of all they had an audio tour that led you through several places. They had a passage that belonged to the first class part of the liner that had railings, carpeting on the floor, and several cabin doors. I remember touching one of the knobs. It was crystal, very ornate and it turned, but since the door was just made for display it didn't open.
Then they had the main drafting room where they had pictures of the men at the drafting tables. The adult version was a lot more abbreviated than the child's version which was a lot more interactive. The child's version actually had people speaking measurements and had a lot more information about how muchtime it took to build it and how it was built. It even had letters from some of the passengers and some interaction quizzzes and things that children could do.
Then it was the launch day scene. It took you through what the weather was like and what some of the passengers thoughts were and those around. The child's version even had a portion of what the Belfast Observer, a newspaper of that time, said on how it looked the next day. It had said that it looked looked big and that it towered above the buildildings around it. THe rudder was described as being a giant elm and that everything was on a nightmare scale. It is rather ironic that one of the passengers called it a monster of beauty that was all to be shortlived. Also in some of the rooms they had artifacts in cases. They had one of the fairleads which is what the ropes were fed through, it was rather long, they also had a part of the ship's hull which was in a case, but there was a hole in it so you could reach in an touch it. It wasn't really all that thick, but since it was double bottomed with watter tight compartments, the thickness wasn't all that surprising. They also had wire rimmed glasses, a bowler hat, a leather purse, other luggage pieces. There was even a traveling trunk out for people to look at. No wonder trolleys are neededjust the travel trunk alone was taller than me, and it was standing on end!!
Mom then went into the habbit of placing me on benches so I could listen to the audio stuff better and she went to look at the things in the cases. When we entered the exhibit we each got a bording pass with a person on it and in one of the rooms where mom had me on a bench, they had a plaque with all the names of the passengers on it. She went to look ours up and we had both survived. I was Mis Madeleen Newells and I can't remember who Mom had. I remember though that she had told me my father had died, and her husband had as well, I know it was a girl she had. We then left the exibit after we had gon through it. During the audio tour you heard from a lot of the survivors, Michelle (can't remember his last name), Edith Hart, Molly Brown, Laurence Beasley, and a woman who said she had a feeling she wouldn't get to America on the ship.
After that we went to see the movie The Gost of the Abiss, and it was awesome. Very emotional as it takes you through the actual wreck and the people on the exbedition to see it. You actually see the windows, the ornateness of the grand staircase which was recreated in the exhibit, by the way, the dishes, the bowler hat that Henry Harper wore, some of the dishes that were used, the furniture, Molly Brown's brass bed They even overlaid images of how the ship once was with computer renderings, you heard as if in a dream, the music and laughter that filled the ship at one time. They made the images ghostlike and sometimes they would have images of how things were alongside what the ship was like now. They mad the images pop op images, and some of the photographs filipped down next to current ones.
You also saw what the team was like outside the titanic, them swimming, singing, one of the pilots of the mini subs playing a guitar while singing. The subs, Meer 1 and Meer 2 were taken down to go through the wreck and of course one of the passengers was a bit worried and you had all his fears about the battery, oxygen an things like this. The pilots were Jenya and Anitolia; Anitolia was the one with the guitar. Jim and Bill were two of the researchers, Lori was a microbiologist. There were also two bots at the end of the documentary one of which had to be rescued as to a dead battery. It was rescued successfully, however you were beging to wonder if it wouldn't happen as for a minute it looked like the rescuee wouldn't be able to move.
Everyone talked of the wonderment involved, and the knowing that humans beheld this much beauty, held the ralings and were aboard the vessel makes the mind boggle. I think the movie was one of the more emotional parts of the day for me. The exploration of Jake and Elwood, the two bots gave a lot of insight into how things were aboard and what had gone on. It was all so real because the movie was in an eyemax theater. On the way out I bought some suveneers, of course. LOL I bot a coffee cup with the White Star Liner crest on it. White Star Liner was the owner of the Titanic. I also baught a CD with some music that was played on board and I bought a chocolate bar with a picture of the ship on it.

Now that I have described the day, I will describe the feelings I gotwarning, those of Christian orientation may find this freaky or spooky, so reading further may bring chills

So here we are all who've gotten this far.

I am here to say one thing. I have never been so bombarded. I don't even want to think of what it was like to be down there among the actual wreckage. Just being near the stuff was enough. I touched the nob and got veague impressions. The hull gave me the impression of many people walking on itnothing really more than that. The cherub's foot reminded me of a little boy who had stepped bare foot in to the water just before being saved by a man who saw him about to fall. The audio tour took you back a lot more than words could say, it was like you were right there!
The movie I think effected me the most. Lying their in that eyemax theater whith the sub's engines were running, while Bill was expressing his fears, while you wondered if Elwood would make it back in one piece after all the information it had gathered had been collected. The fact that you could see it all right there, it was really there. The more I got into the movie the more I felt as if I had been there before, the more things unfolded, the description of the different windows, dishes, doors, railings and such unfolded, the more emotional I became, the more I felt my heart ache. The more I felt deep down, I had been there. I had been there and had survived. And what's even more interesting, is that seems to happen a lot with historic things. Even with books pertaining to magicsSerpent's Shadow as case and point. Even some of the Valdemar books hold a sense of truth for me. I am going to put this publick for the simple fact that I seriously don't care who reads this anymore. It's my journal and I basically know every one, or nearly everyone who reads this, sothere. Anyway I came home all emotionally draind like, and so full of yet onsearched knowledge, it's as if touching the rail of the stair case, touching the nob for the cabin dor, touching the railing,touching the hull, seeing the movie, buying the stuff that actually had the crest on it has put me in touch with something I can't quite fathom yet. It's just this feeling, this instinctive knowing like I've been there before, like I was therelikelike I should be knowing something I don't. When I left the museum, I felt like I was forgetting something. I knew I wasn't, but it was like I was supposed to do something that I didn't, like I was supposed to find something I didn't, like I was supposed to pick up something I didn't. I was forgetting something, I felt empty after leaving there, like something had been taken from me that wasn't supposed to be taken, like I was leaving a part of me thereI felt relief as well, felt, even after the movie. It was emotional during the movie, then after was when the feelings began.I guess it's just me, though, but the feelings just were soo intense, so strong that it truly makes me wonder if I truly had lived it before coming here as this person...before coming here as me. My heart still aches, still wonders.soul kind of feels all strung out, too. Heart sore? Can someone truly be that? It feels like someone has just told me that I have lost all I have loved in the world and left me to wallow in my grief. Like someone had taken my heart in their hand and squeezed it like a worn spunge and it is just now beginning to shape again and it is hurting, aching for what it once had and instinctively knows may never have again.

Then Momoh mother who listened to her story on the way home. What away to come home espionage, on the way home a scene came up were someone was killed and it was rather graphiccaused mor feelings of having been there as wellsomeone like me shouldn't listen to that type of thing. I sort of like it, that sort of horrid hypnotic fascination takes over where you want to stop listening, but you can't because you want to see what happens no matter whatbut after it's all done you say poor guy/girl!! Even if it is just a character in a book. Sometimes I will take vows never to develop characters that I will end up killing off, because I may not have the hart to, I would probably cry when I kill off a character, because it would be like killing off a part of me.
Anyway I am home safe and am just now finishing this post. I will write soon I expect, and maybe it won't be so long and drawn out. LOL

I think maybe I'll have to go back to the site and look up cuts. SOrry for the length all.

The Phoenix
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