The Phoenix (thepheenixeyri) wrote,
The Phoenix

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I'm thinking now...

I'm sitting here with thoughts running through my head, and it all started yesterday when I was talking to my aunt about things, and was giving her the quick and dirty explanation of my situation in life
I used to be a JAWS trainer, and was that for three months (JAWS stands for Job Access With Speech, and is the text to speech program I use to access the internet, read emails, etc.) but because of a few slip-ups, and because I didn't know how to make kiricula, I had to resign. It was my first job out of high school, and I really think they were a bit too harsh on me, but I have no  way of proving this.

I was then given a work experience learning how to be a rehab aid which lasted for two months. During wich I started doing research on residential independence training centers so that I could get more independence training; job readiness skills, that sort of thing. But during part of this research process I had no services from DBS (Division of blind Services)--none.

So, I do the research, turn in the justification, and then they tell me that they don't want to send me to a residential facility because I had multiple opportunities for independence training, mobility, all that sort of thing, and that I have a
"learned helplessness" so now I have no services: Not even mobility because they feel that I should be able to use the skills I already hav (and not just in mobility) and problem solve the rest. Hello? Mobility doesn't work that way--it just doesn't.

I won't regain any of these services until I come back with my dog, and won't have any advanced daily living services until I move out and away from the parents. And the only way I will be able to do this is if I move into lo income subsidized housing. Because they don't think teaching me independence stuff will be such a good idea if all I do is come back to the same family situation.

So their new plan is to have me get my dog, have me move out and into my own place, find me yet another work experience (thankfully not at the same place I was) and help me find more local friends down here.

But right now I'm stuck, litterally because I have almost no knowledge of the bus system down here except for the paratransit stuff that comes straight here, and mom's so concerned about me walking the neighborhood because we have two sex offenders whose houses I have to pass on the way to the bus stop. And we have no sidewalks, and cars have a tendency to speed through here like it's some sort of race track.

So, I didn't give my aunt all of this, but she did start to brainstorm with me, and the topic of massage therapy came up, and she asked me if I thought about looking into that. It had been sitting in the back of my mind, but I really hadn't invested much thought into it, only because I wasn't sure there was a senter (yet again) close enough to me where I could go to learn such things. I know it would help in the long run, especially since I really really do want to finish my reiki training and become a master, and I've been told by others that I do give good massages in the few times I've come up behind somebody and rubbed their neck and back.

So tell me, do you think it would work? And what sort of budget would I be looking at here? I know I'd have to pay for this myself; DBS wouldn't because I've already used up their educational allotment for me, and I doubt they would be willing to put me through another program. I've yet to even broach this to my parents, because at the moment I'm going off on this whole musical instrument tangent that is literally driving my mom insane. She's telling me I need to find the one instrument I have a passion for and focus on it, but I'm still trying to find out which one that is. I have quite a few in the room as it is, some of which haven't been played in about four maybe five months at least. But every time I come up with this one question "What is it that brings you the most joy--that's what you should do." The first two things are always music and writing, with Reiki being a close third to those two.

So... what do yall think?

X-posted to mystic_cafe

the Phoenix
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