I am about to scream...scream!
I asked my mother if shouldn't mind going to see Mark Lowry to which she said she hadn't thought about it. I told her it was on Thursday and she remembered that that was the day Grandma and Grandpa were going to fly out to Indiana and their plane leaves at 7:00 PM which is when the show starts. SO I said I'd go by myself. To which she replied that if we knew someone down here it'd be different but since we don't I couldn't go. Then she said that she was sorry she ever told me about him coming here because I was upset that I couldn't go...well duh! When you look on the internet to find this stuff...and you're sitting this close...hello!! and the tickets are well within your budget...what do you expect?
Cabs, mother, and Lee Tran ... of course I didn't say that, but, anyway, we went round and round until I said I'd call the church and tell them I was blind and that I would be coming. Before that, however, I went to buy the ticket, figuring that if nothing else, I could cancel the order. But Mom heard me on the phone ordering the ticket and proceeded to bitch me out for not calling the church first to see whether things could be set up, and whether I could even get there. She said , stupid! and said it was putting the cart before the horse. She also proceeded to tell my dad about it, thereby including him.. So I'm going ahead with the order until I find out that the ticket is non refundable...um...well...
SO I go to call the church only to find out that I've missed them by five minutes because they closed at 5:00...damn!
She's also talking about how am I going to get there, and that's when I told her I'd take a cab, and she wants me to call them and get the rates because if it's more expensive than the ticket there's no sense in going. And if I have to have the ticket held, I'll have to find someone to help me from the taxi, then get my ticket, then sit me down...and what if I have to go to the bathroom midway through the performance?
For God's sakes, woman...it's a church...I can use my mouth thank you very damn much. I'm still going whether she takes me, whether I have to get Lee Tran to take me...or, heaven forbid, I have to take a cab that's more expensive than the ticket...I'm going damn it! I did call the place, but there is a service fee for the ticket, so besides setting up something for myself, since I am blind, I may see if I can't get the ticket there for cheaper. I'm about to take a venture and just go without her just in case she's not back in time. She says she might be able to take me because their plane leaves at seven they'll wanna be there early...however, I am not going to take the chance that she doesn't want to take me, and so poops out. I'm loving the way she wants me to be so independent, yet she criticizes things I try to do, and makes so many dam excuses. Used to, they would make me back down, now, however, all they do is make me more determined to do things. I wonder if this is part of growing up? or is it I'm finally sick and tired of what she thinks and I just don't care anymore? Or...something else? All I know is I want to go...now! I wasn't gunna say this, but since this is someone I've wanted to see since I listened to his "20 Stories Tall" and "Remoatly Controlled" Albums, I will...come hell or high water, I'll get there...I will!! Ever since I was like 17 or so, I've wanted to see this person, and it's not merely because he's Christian. He's clean, and I like clean...to some extent, anyway. Yeah, OK I listene to Kevin Bloody Wilson, but the thing I like about Mark is his stories don't center around God persay. Sure he loves God, you can see it in his music and some of his stories that center around church events, but he doesn't purposely bring God into his stories unless he's trying to make a point. There are several of his stories on the first album that have nothing to do with God and half the songs on his Remoatly Controlled album have nothing to do with God, and everything to do with being hyperactive, or other such issues. His stuff is interesting, and he doesn't try to shove his beliefs down your throat. Would he like you to believe, of course. If you don't, however, I have the strzangest feeling he wouldn't care, as long as you have valid reasons for those beliefs. His place, as should be everyones, is not to judge, that's not his job. So...yeah...I'm going. I've just decided.
and sticking on the same vain as this...I really don't realize how truly intrusive my mother is until I talk to others whose mothers aren't that way, and I know a few of you who will want to kill my mother for this behavior.
It was last night and rnb_capricorn and I were on the phone discussing internet issues, mine being the switch from high speed to dial-up and a certain analogy when Mom just walks in with stuff and says, "Well that's just too bad." She proceeded to talk to me about braille covers and what I should do with them. She walks out and goes about her business....and I turned off the CD I had been listening to and told the person on the other end of the phone how pissed off that made me. "If my mother did that, that would be the last time she did that."
Yea, rnb_capricorn!!!! I don't like it when she doesn't knock now.
I told her that I would appreciate it if she would knock before entering, and she said if I had my door shut she would, I said even if it isn't shut, please knock. It's not like I'm trying to hide anything from you, I'd justlike to know when you're there. Ever since I've been to college, my privacy has become more of a concern...at least my physical privacy, at any rate. My room is mine, and if I want to keep it messy, so be it. It's my room, after all, not hers. Seriously, yalls, every time I come home from FGCU, the trapped feeling gets worse. It's like I get used to the freedom there earlier and earlier each semester and when I come home the supppression here seems worse and worse, it may not be worse, but it just seems that way. I will more than likely stop telling mom my plans if she is going to react that way to all of them. I'm just so used to her being my wheels that sometimes I forget that there are other options out there. It's like everytime I come home everything I've done goes away. Now however, that is changing, now it's everytime I come home, more of the independence is coming with me, and now every time I try to use it she shoots, or tries to anyway, holes in it. I want out...but at the moment, I don't have the finances for it, and I'm seriously needing some cooking refreshers. I just have a funny feeling that this summer's gunna be a rather...interesting one, and not for the reason I first thought.
I know there was something else I wanted to put in here, and I was going to make it and this entry separate, but at the moment, I can't remember what it is. I just wish I had somewhere to go...somewhere! It's a good thing I have tomorrow to myself so she doesn't know that I'm going without her until it's too damn late. Mark Lowry, here I come!!
It's a good thing she's letting me go to Indiana, I'm at least looking forward to a few days out of the hous... in one month. I'll also be meeting one of my friends I've been talking to on the phone for the past almost year now, so that'll be cool. On that slightly positive note, I suppose I should end this. Have a good one yalls.